What Are Friends For?

“What are friends for?” You must have heard this time without number and I guess you must also have said it once or even more. But in actual fact, not so many people have actually taken time to view the magnanimity of that word 'friend'. To many, 'friend' is that person one is willing and is also willing to share things with in all ramifications. I tell you, this word in itself is simply ambiguous. Mariah, 22yr old and a law undergraduate defined a friend as 'that one who takes one as one is, and treats one as such and who doesn't complain but tries to correct without hurting one's feelings.'

Whatever ways we see this concept called 'friend', it is basically a matter of 'intimacy'. Judith Viorst, a columnist in Redbook Magazine, wrote in her piece: 'Friends, Good Friends, And Such Good Friends', that 'friendships are defined by their level of intimacy'. In appraising these levels of friendship, she classified friendships.

Convenience friends, according to her, are those that we would not have been friends, only for our path that do cross. Now, have you considered the guy next door who likes to discuss sports a lot? Do you call him a friend? Or have you considered the lady you usually ride with in the same bus? May be you should think about the guy you share office with or even the girl you sit with while the Evidence class was on. These people are not really friends in the sense of it. At best, we can only say they are convenient friends. These are people we get to relate with out of convenience and normally, we wouldn't have talked to them only for intermittent 'hellos'. In my view, these type of friends are best called 'acquaintances'

Moreover, she identified Special Interest Friend. This type of friend is not intimate. Their values lie in some interest jointly shared. For example, a course mate, or a shopping mate. Here, it is more of doing things together and not being together. It is based on the meeting of interest between both of the parties. A guy had actually walked up to me after a lecture and asked me to be his friend. He would like to have discussions with me from time to time. It's all as result of a special interest he has in me!

Another level of friendship is Historical Friend. This friend knows a part of us which no other person know, Judith wrote. We might have stayed together in the same compound back in the village, probably attended the same primary school. She knew it when you started growing breast or he was right there in front of you while other boys laughed at you in the dorm when you had your very first wet dream. You guys have really gone along way back in time. She was the first and only one you told the morning after you lost your virginity. This level of friendship is a friend which tie is even stronger than that of siblings sometimes. They are indeed special.

Furthermore, there is Crossroad friend. Like historical friend, our crossroad friend is important for what was. For a friendship we shared at a crucial, now past, time of life. Aritha had gone to the bank to pay the reparation fee but she did not know how to fill the bank slip. Abbey had just walked in and happily, helped her and bingo! they became friends. She will never forget Abbey for saving her of possible embarrassment and he still remembers that as well. They wouldn't have become one if only that there path crossed at the bank hall.

A cross generational friend can be seen as a father-son or mother-daughter relationship and vice versa though not biological. A friend who is old enough to be one's father or young enough to be one's daughter. This type of friendship is just so interesting and it's quite funny how both parties get along. It's simple. The older one enjoys hanging out with the younger to have the youthful side of life which he or she once experienced. And for the younger party, he or she drinks from the pool of the older one's experience

The last of these is Man-Woman friend. Many have asked the question: can the opposite sex just be friends without having a relationship? Yes! I had found this in so many relationships around. For Kunle and Ogo, theirs is a friendship blessed by God. Ogo knows Kunle's flaws so well, and she takes him for that. She shares with him her experiences, joy and love in her relationship and Kunle reciprocates same to her. She is fun to be with, Kunle once said in an unofficial interview between the two. He knows of her boyfriend and she knows his too and those other girls! They love each other's company so much and most times, they have been tagged 'the happiest couples around'. They value each other so much!

In all, however we view friendship, it is all about intimacy. There is the 'medium' friend you tell about few things and that frown on your face is just a headache. To some pretty good friends, you said it's about some stress you're going through and you don't say anything more. However to a very good friend, you tell her you're in a fix as you are on a brink of total collapse as you are already going bankrupt as the bank won't allow you a breathing space for the loan you aren't able to pay. To a very good friend, you pour out your heart and seek for succour and possibly a solution that your heart so much wants because you believe in her and for some time now, you both have been in it together.